Last Thursday marked the two year anniversary of when I first sent my birth dad (BD) an e-mail. Side note: I remember dates really well. Always have. So, I’m the first to make a big deal about things like this even when other people don’t.
I can’t believe it’s been two years. So much has happened in the past two years that has shown me so much of God’s sovereignty and grace. I am beyond thankful that my God saw me in a bad situation, pulled me out, and placed me with two loving and godly parents. If anything, e-mailing, talking on the phone, and meeting my BD has shown me over and over again just how good God is.
There’s nothing that can prepare a person for the emotions they’ll experience when they meet or talk to their birth parents. Such a surreal situation. I specifically remember sitting in my bed, watching TV, and surfing the internet when my phone buzzed. I picked up my BlackBerry and saw that I had an e-mail. It was from the e-mail address that I had sent to the man whom I thought was my BD. I had asked him if he knew my birth mom (BM) and he said he did.
Then I typed the words I never thought I would.
…you may be my birth father.
We e-mailed almost every day or every other day for the next month or so, and then we made the decision to talk on the phone. That day I’ll never forget either. We talked for about an hour, and it was so surreal and weird.
About three months later, in December, my parents and I traveled to Alabama to meet my BD and his family. Again, nothing can prepare you for that. I paced for a week. I sat in class, day after day, thinking about what it was going to be like when we did meet. Would I hug him? Would I cry? Would I shake his hand? I was so nervous. I had all those crazy butterflies in my stomach, and I was excited and scared all at the same time. After an awkward handshake (yes, I did shake his hand and hug his mom and girlfriend), a dinner where he would catch me staring at him and I would catch my grandma staring at me, our relationship as “biological father and daughter” began to form.
No one will ever take the place of Carter and Robin, the people I call Mom and Dad. But, I’m grateful that God’s allowed me to have a weird relationship with my BD.